The Irony of being alive

MaCDucks decides to take it to court MackDucks has decided yesterday to take the recent case to court instead of paying settlment money to Miss Bigasston.The story started when Bigasston sued MackDucks asking for 21 million dollors as a setllement for getting fat from eating burgers at their restaurant.Although the company has confessed that it's food might be the reason for weight gain,it has also refused to sellte on the count that it does not take 21 million dollors to get Bigasston back in shape. "Deed for Speed" the Game Soky has announced the release of its new "Deed for speed" game on pez5 only.The game displays the story of a man with a very bad car and his life dream of getting a speeding ticket which he gets at the end of the game with the help of several friends including a police officer (Spoiller alert) who just gave up at the end and gave the guy the speeding ticket as a gift.The fact that pez5 game console costs 1000$ and plays black/white games o...

General Bicycles new beast. GB has surprised everyone yesterday in it's annual celibration when it revealed it's new car.Although the company has been facing a lot of difficulties the last couple of years,the remaining 5 employees has managed to produce a car with amazing features that they called it the beast.The car can go up to 320 mph and of 400 hp.One of the news writer asked the designer "how come the car looks like sh*t ! " .The car designer simply replied "Since GB cares for it's customers,the new car shape is designed to eliminat the need to wash the car at all,which reduces the running cost.It is also designed so that no one will envy the car owners.At the end, it is safty what matters most when we design cars." The Figral Army tries new weaspons. Tomorrow the Figral army will start trying the new imported weapons from North-South Russtina.A trusted source has revealed that the new weapons are of biological nature.The weapons may include:bebe g...

FF Strikes hard FF commonly known as Fishy Flu strikes Turop hard.yesterday it was counted that 30 % of all population in Turop suffer from the diseas.The doctors commented "it was going to happen sooner or later,3rd world countries always wash up their animals with water instead of dry cleaning which eventualy led to fish catching the common swine flu". The new drug that has proven its success has small side effects including Constipation,diarias,throwing up,anal leakage,tears runny nose and sudden death. Asbook.com announces the use of "face blocking" technology. Asbook company announces that it will launch it's new "face blocking" service by mid of next month.Asbook's head of marketing: "The service will garantee that no one will be able to upload his face picture on the site instead of the butt picture,which what the site is dedicated for". MASA confirms that the earth is flat. MASA confirms that we were all miss led by "Aristotl...

Accidents Section -A rat kills his family and ends his life. Butterball rato collapsed and slaughtered his wife and 623128 kids and hung himself. It is said that Butterball has been facing financial problems during the past few month which may have led to this. The accident took place beside the old gutter and lasted for 2 weeks. -Feel Safe North Cost ! Yesterday, the FDI finally cought Jim the tiger after 4 years of chase.Jim has been accused of several crims including stealing under the gun point and fornication. Jobs -BodyGuard. A strong and educated bodyguard is required for 2 month.The bodyguard will accompany the Gazalo group during their yearly migration. Carnivoras are not welcomed. -Personal trainers. A tailess lizard looking for a personal trainer until grows back the lost tail. Pearsonals -40 years,blond 1500 pounds vergin female lion,looking for a loving husband to take care of her and her childrens. Sports -Wrestler "Elephantoman" suspended. A decision was taken...